Negative Parenting

Out of a fluke today decided to head into town and brave the rainy weather to curb if slightly the boredom that's quickly taking over me. Wasn't that exciting except for some clothes that I was interested in getting but due to the blessed weird shaping of my body I decided against it. In any case, it wasn't until I got into that maxi heading home that a commentator on the radio caught my attention.

She highlighted a problem that many of us unfortunately have to observe and out of shock or disgust we remain quiet and simply gape in disbelief. This growing problem is parents or guardians who verbally abuse their children publicly.

I live on a main road and on a number of occasions I've come to witness adults who mistreat little children physically and verbally for the smallest things that they have done such as accidentally dropping their toys on the road, spilling their drinks or simply walking too slowly for their parents' taste. Their choice of words range from "Why the hell you so F***ing stupid?" to "What the hell wrong with you chile?". What makes it worse is that these parents shout these vulgar insults at their children, making it a scene for everyone around them to hear, further embarrassing, dehumanizing and reducing the child's self esteem. Then later on these parents question why their children are behaving in such a horrid manner, why is it that they cannot control them and then to justify something they blame society.

A child's basic foundation of learning, social interaction etc. begins at home, more so with their parents. This is what a number of mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts etc fail to comprehend. Two classic examples of this I experienced just a stone’s throw away from home.

Firstly I was in a small parlour purchasing a daily news paper when a lady sitting on a stool was cursing the shop owner. Yelling at the top of her lungs that her roti was taking too long, with other choice words that I guess is the limitation of her vocabulary. I do not know if she failed to realize with all the commotion that she was causing, that she had her, I presume, son, who could not have been more than 6 years old standing next to her playing with the legs of the stool. He seemed almost embarrassed.

Secondly while in the grocery which is just a walk from my home, I happened to observe a boy who was in front of me purchasing a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Old Oak rum. He couldn’t have been older than 15 years old. In any case I looked up a sign that I supposed would have assured me that they do not sell alcohol or cigarettes to people under 18 years of age. I guess that it was all a lie which was confirmed by the cashier when I asked her about selling the drugs to the boy. Her reply was, quote:

“When I first come here I see that they used to sell it to him because he buying it for his father. I doh ask no questions” So she follows suite. Days later I saw the same boy smoking on the pavement.

My question is what would happen to our country’s future generation? Being brought up in such a manner where they are dehumanized and are not being trained to learn certain morals that would assist them in the progression of their lives. I will not say that society does not have a part to play in the bringing up of children but parents have to realize that the negative manner that they are raising their children would produce dire consequences in both their and the country’s future.

Repairing Relationships

This is my contribution to a project that I did for my major, Communication Studies "Open Day" last semester. The entire project dealt with relationships and various relationship issues. Really it was ironic me taking part of this project as I was never in a serious relationship with anybody.

I had this looming on my desktop and thought this would be interesting to add this to my blog. So here it goes..

Disclaimer : This was taken from my text Human Communication : The Basic Course by J. Divito

Need To Repair Your Relationship?

Is your relationship going through some serious trouble and you're trying everything to save it but nothing seems to be working? Then check out these 6 suggestions that could help save your failing relationship. Conveniently they spell out the word REPAIR.

Recognize the Problem.

Do this on both an intellectual and emotional level.

Think about what changes you can make to improve your relationship.

Engage in Productive Conflict Resolution.

Having a conflict does not mean that your relationship is failing.

The conflict does not destroy the relationship. It is the manner in which the couple deals with it.

Propose Positive Solutions.

Recognize the problem and look for ways to get rid of it.

Try and produce a solution where everybody wins.

Affirm Each Other.

Engage in positive exchanges. Look for points of agreement and be more tolerant.

These result in mutually positive behaviour.

Integrate Solutions Into Your Normal Behaviour.

Favours, compliments and cherishing behaviours need to be a part of everyday communication.

Risk.

Take risks to improve relationship.

Risk rejection; make the first move to apologize.

Adapt and take on new tasks and responsibilities.

Just Remember you do not have to limit yourself to these 6 suggestions. Try and experiment with new and different communication strategies.

Tired of Doing Nothing

As the topic of this blog states, that's exactly how I feel tired. I could recall what I did today. I woke up, did all of my morning duties, plugged in my Playstation 2, took a break for The Price is Right, made a sign for my dad, plugged the game in once again took it off at about 5 pm, took a break with my parents and grandmother watched news then Smallville and now I'm here on my computer.

Most of what I did today as you may have realized required little or no physical movement/strength yet I'm tired exhausted and I feel as if I did some huge task. Right now I just want to go and sleep but I'm depriving myself at the moment because it is only 10 30 pm. I'm feeling so lazy, unable to think straight and guilty of what little I did today. I'm into my third week of vacation from UWI and I feel lost.

What I came to realize is this, I have no set routine. No waking up in the wee hours of the morning, going to UWI, studying, cramming for exams then returning home, only to do the same thing the following day for the following six months until my next 3 and a half months vacation. Being in sync with some sort of routine is so instilled in me it's like I cannot live without one. I am not alone. A number of my friends who share the same predicament are adopting a new routine in the name of experience and financial support, a 'summer' job.

The problem is since birth we were introduced into a routine. What time to be fed, bathed and put to sleep. What time to wake up, go to school, go to work and then leave the said institutions. It's mechanical, are we robots, programming generation to generation into this world of set routines that we find it difficult to break from them just for a short period of time? I find it hard to think that way yet there is much truth to it.

Vacations sound so inviting, appealing, free and so far from the routine life we are forced to live. Yet for many difficult to grasp either because of financial difficulties or other inabilities to physically achieve them. Only few people are really able to enjoy vacations despite what advertisements on television want us to believe and I feel happy for them. I just wish that I could go on one right now and forget what routine life, or lack there of, I have now only to groan and moan and adopt them once again after about 3 months (the remaining time I have now) of bliss.

Anonymity

 Anonymity is a funny thing. I began this blog wanting to be this strange entity writing about my thoughts, feelings, opinions on social issues controversial or not, communication as a whole and a wide range of topics. Then today as I descended the stairs heading towards my 'computer room' I realized something. I started this blog to express myself on issues I find it difficult to shout out loud and make others listen to. I wanted my own outlet where I could just be myself and release some 'stress'. Over all I wanted to remove this dark sheet that 

I was hiding behind.

Presently I am reading this book "Trusting Yourself" by M.J.Ryan. It really is an inspiration to me. I want to be able to do as the title of the book says. Really it is harder than it sounds as it is a habit that must be learnt. Be optimistic about yourself not pessimistic. Learn from all your experiences both negative and positive and thrust forward, don't allow the bad to keep you back. Generally things like that.

The funny thing about this anonymity issue was when I decided you know what, let's put my picture on my domain. (I mean I have my image on a variety of sites already who cares what I look like and maybe what people think about me.) I began taking multiples images of myself via my digital camera( I'm so darn vain). As I said in my previous blog, not everybody would have high opinions of you, yes that includes me. ( I have to start really reading what I post lol) Once I'm not doing anything illegal, immoral etc, I have to express my freedom of speech.

I honestly admire people who can fully express themselves. Who can walk up on a pulpit in front of thousands, maybe even millions of people and speak and say what they have to say although the end result might be bottles thrown at you - empty plastic bottles hopefully . In the end though they would have grasped the minds of a few, maybe not the majority and persuade them into believing what they had just said. The main reason for this is that they trust themselves fully and aren't hiding behind the curtain of anonymity. They know in the depths of their core, their heart and their souls who they are and have such great belief in their ideology and opinions that they can do what they want to do or have to do without regret because of their strong belief.

- SF

Making Myself Aware of The Blogging World

New to this whole concept of blogging, I decided to poke around and understand its culture and get a better understanding of what should and should not be done. Basically the general rules and how one should portray him or herself. It was interesting the result I got thus far. Anything goes! You can post about what you feel, your opinions matter here. This is an international stage and what might be insignificant for some would be very significant and important to many.
Don't get me wrong I am not writing this to promote and justify blogs that is meant to hurt people despite their racial, sexual, cultural, or religious backgrounds and say, yeah it's okay, international stage, blah blah blah. We as bloggers have a right to express ourselves in a positive manner as much as possible. Hundreds, thousands maybe even millions of people read what we have to say on a daily basis and we should deliver messages that promote good ethics.
Blogger wanna-be what is she talking about? Doesn't she know that no matter how positive a message not everyone would agree with it and it would be deemed negative in some people's eyes. Yea I know that. Guess that goes with what I said in my introduction. Can't please everybody. That is just one of the complications of the media and blogging. We just have to keep in mind that we cannot be liked and loved by everybody. Although some people would have a huge following of fans or a secret cult, if it goes that far, there would be some people waiting just to ax you down like a tree.
I guess the main thing is that we all have to be strong in whatever our opinions are. But at the same time we have to be open minded and realize different aspects of it like, not everybody's going to like you or what you type and hereby don't feel down by it. Know that there are many others who would love you. In addition don't use the excuse of OPINIONS to write messages of hate about other people despite their background just because you might have had a bad experience or simply just don't like them for other reasons. Blogging give us a chance to show our true colours to the world and open our minds and hearts so that others could relate to us. We as bloggers new or old should not abuse that power.

- S.F

Blog Away !

My alias is Silver Feather - SF -, its Japanese translation is ginsei no hane which I'm using for my gmail account. Why Japanese? It's because I'm in love with the culture and language. I'm now beginning my blogging experience. With all the advances in technology especially via the internet, I was informed during an IABC workshop that I should take advantage of it and use it for both personal development as well as use it as a tool to advance myself career wise. I am taking that advice to heart. Thank you Karel!
As many of you would have realized, my name have not been mentioned. For the time being I rather be anonymous especially as I have read that 'blogging your mind' can greatly affect you personally. Many people interpret what you say wrongly and disagree with your opinions which in the long run can bring about too many troubles from families friends and even work. Even my email was invented just for this blog. I might change my mind later on. In any case I hope to enjoy this online experience where I can share my thoughts with you.

- S.F